On Missed Opportunities

A question arrived in my inbox today from an old client and very charismatic young man: Had you ever happened to get very close to what you believed to be the opportunity of a lifetime and miss it?

The question derived from a very recent experience where he had the opportunity to get what he believed to be his dream-job and didn’t make it.

The first thought was from a short conversation with an aunt of mine some years ago. I was visiting her for Easter when she asked me about the man I was dating. I told her about the breakup and she simply replied “well, it wasn’t him”.

My response every time someone tells me about how he or she lost the love of his or her life, or the opportunity of a lifetime is always the same: if it were the love of your life or the opportunity of your life, you wouldn’t have lost it.

I also remember the words of a client of mine: the master will appear when the student is ready.

In 1994, I might have missed my lifetime opportunity when I met with the Master of my dream-job. I say ‘might’ because I cannot know. Would I have been happy and successful in that path? I cannot know; I can only make assumptions. But what is the point of that?

So, here is my perspective on the missed opportunity of a lifetime:

1. If we have missed it, it wasn’t ‘our’ opportunity. If it is our opportunity we can chase it again and again until we make it.
2. I believe that we create our opportunities. If we are lucky enough to know what is it that we want, to know what our opportunity is like, then we go after it and we do not give up until we reach it.
3. My questions would be about what makes this our dream (job, partner, career, etc). How do we know it?
4. Finally, how ready are we for it? What are we doing to prepare ourselves to be ready when the master, the opportunity will appear?

I know that I have missed many chances because I wasn’t ready. I was too insecure, had little knowledge, less skills, less confidence, or I just wasn’t sure.

On the other hand, I have seized many other opportunities having no idea where they would lead me. Actually, those were simple things, tasks, hobbies, even problems, all opportunities in disguise.

And I know that I do not regret a thing because:

“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.” Ralph Waldo Emerson