A Break and Four Lessons

Halfway through July, I had to take a break from blogging.

I was not without inspiration or time. I had at least the same amount of available time as before. I had successfully completed 6 months of my project of daily blogging, I was half-way to my goal, and ideas kept flowing inside my head.

What happened then?

The very important priority of care (for oneself and others) happened. After overcoming the initial guilt of not following through with my commitment – a nightmare for someone who values integrity enormously – I decided to see the opportunity of what this situation was teaching me.

So, after the inspiring lessons of the first 31 days, here are my very useful lessons of a necessary break:

Lesson 1

We can do anything we decide to do.

One of the things we must consider though is the price, the sacrifices. What is the price of a certain commitment? What will we need to let go, neglect, or forget during that time? Is the outcome worth the price? 

Lesson 2 

Commitment and flexibility do not go hand in hand. 

Once we have committed to something we cannot afford flexibility. So before starting, before committing, examine how important flexibility is for you, what kind of flexibility you would like to have, and how you can adjust the commitment. 

Lesson 3

Habits do not last. At least not in my case.

Throughout my life I have had many different habits depending on the place where I was living, the work I was doing, the hobbies I had. None of them lasted. 

After 6 months of the daily habit of blogging, writing had not become an automatic behavior or routine. 

Lesson 4

Make self-care a priority.

It's ok not to do something if this contradicts self-care. In this case, it is not about flexibility, it is about sustainability.

30 + 1 Things To Do When You Are Bored

This post was co-authored with my niece, a teenager who is always bored.

Here is a list of 30 things to do when you are bored:

1. Surf the web: search for things you like, articles that spark your interest, or just read posts like this.
2. Organize your closet.
3. Tidy up your room; or your office; or your entire home.
4. Do your laundry.
5. Cook your favorite meal, or try a new recipe. In the case of my niece, it’s always souvlaki.
6. Build something. Make something creative with your hands.
7. Fix things around the house.
8. Call a friend. Go for a walk to the park, play, or plan any activity together.
9. Learn something new. A new hobby, a new skill, a new language, or even new words from the dictionary.
10. Clean up your computer.
11. Organize your photos. Create digital or printed albums.
12. Exercise. Ride your bicycle, go up and down the stairs, go jogging.
13. Practice something you already know; like playing the guitar.
14. Read a book.
15. Write a book.
16. Make a bucket list.
17. Put your favorite music on and dance.
18. Bathe your dog, clean your aquarium, or play with your cat. Take care of your pets. 
19. Take care of your plants.
20. Volunteer to help someone for the day.
21. Write and send a thank you note to someone who did something nice for you.
22. Camp out in the garden, backyard, or inside the house if there is no other option.
23. Watch a movie, preferably at an open-air cinema.
24. Take a nap.
25. Pick up any volume of the Junior Chuckwoods Guidebook. Have fun reading it and why not, try any of the ideas you will find in it.
26. Make a playlist of your favorite songs.
27. Organize a board game championship with your family.
28. Offer to babysit a toddler. You will not have time to get bored.
29. Make some bubbles. 
30. Do something awesome.
31. Write a blog post about things to do when you are bored.

What Stories Will You Tell?

“One day, we’ll be old and think about the stories that we could have told.”

Every now and then in our lives we catch ourselves wondering about all these ‘What If’s’. Because in the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take. All the stories that we could have created, had we taken those chances.

What life do you want?

Start creating now the stories that one day you will tell. 

Things I Am Thankful For - Today

Yesterday, as part of a game-chain on facebook, I had been “nominated” by a colleague to post three positive things for the next 5 days.

Now, I do not like chains and I hate to follow such games. I can see their value in some cases, but I prefer the spontaneity of posting freely without rules. Plus, lately I've become irritated with the “P” word (positive – positivity).

As a polite person I accepted the challenge, also seeing the fun part of it. For one day. Letting aside any ideas and opinions I have about chains, I do not want to post three positive things about my day. I can post countless things for which I am grateful.

So, here is my list of things for which I am grateful, thankful and positive today:

1. I am alive.
2. I can get out of bed, I can walk and I can run.
3. I can make decisions and have control over my career.
4. I can breathe. This basic function that we execute 12-20 times per minute and take for granted, with which we come to life.
5. I can see. The first time I tried contact lenses I said excited “so, that is how people see!”.
6. The ability to control my emotions and my mood. Anyone having any kind of experience or knowledge of depression, bipolar and other mental health issues can understand how grateful one can feel not to be in the mercy of any of these.
7. I am lucky to still enjoy the presence of my parents.
8. I left a hospital today with a smile. First time these past years.
9. My nieces are healthy.
10. I have a roof over my head.
11. I have control over my body.
12. I can sing and I can dance and I do not care if I am bad at singing.
13. My wonderful loving friends.
14. The people in my life, people that I admire and who are my role models.
15. My mistakes.
16. My work.
17. The smell of the fresh coffee in the morning.
18. Summer, my favorite season.
19. Blue skies.
20. The sea, calm or rough.
21. My memories, good or bad.
22. Art; Any kind of art, for the beauty of it.
23. The smile of random faces in the street.
24. The unexpected offering of a young neuroscientists's help with an article I am writing.
25. The sound of crickets.
26. That I can make plans and dream.
27. That I love.
28. That I am loved. 

 

Painting by Pedro Arnoldo Cruz Sunu

18 Ways to Cheer Yourself up Instantly

1. Accept your emotions. Sadness, fear, anxiety, fatigue, a bad day … it is what it is. Give yourself the permission to be human.

2. Talk to someone you love. Whether it is a close friend, your SO, your mother, call that person who’s always there for you and let them know you could use a little cheering up.

3. Catch up with an old friend.

4. Take a walk outside, get some fresh air, haste slowly and look at your surroundings with curious eyes. 

5. Watch the Muppets, a funny movie, or just this video:

6. Put some music on to uplift your spirit. Listen to something inspiring and upbeat.

7. Cook yourself your favorite meal.

8. Write, sing, paint; do any creative work.

9. Make – and chase – some bubbles.

10. Exercise or dance. Any physical activity will do. It will get your endorphins going.

11. Cheer someone else up.

12. Hug! Hug someone, even a stranger. Hugs release endorphins too.

13. Hang out – preferably play – with kids.

14. Pamper yourself: take a long hot shower or bath, a nap, allow yourself to be lazy.

15. Make a list with everything in your life that you are grateful for, all the things you are happy about in your life.

16. Do something awesome.

17. Do a little research and blog about things to cheer yourself up.

18. Smile and remember: it’s just a bad day, not a bad life.

For an open agenda

“Make sure you are expressing your goals and vision”, I read in an article. “As part of your motivation, your values and as part of what you stand for” it continued.

Oh, how different things would be if only people were expressing their true goals and we all knew who was standing for what.  If everyone, especially our aspiring leaders in any field, expressed their true agenda openly and honestly, how followers would respond then?

"Openness, transparency - these are among the few weapons the citizenry has to protect itself from the powerful and the corrupt." (Michael Moore) 

Learn your craft. Know your craft. Honor your craft.

You decided to become a teacher, a plumber, a painter, a manager, a coach.

You honed some skills, you learned some theory. Is it enough?

The fact is, you are doing what everyone can do: you have acquired a craft. Learning your craft, really knowing it and honoring it, means continuing to develop it. That’s what the essense of a craft is about.

Diligently practice it, keep your knowledge and skills updated, research, pursue your constant improvement and growth.

And you may find that: 

• The more time you dedicate to developing your craft, the more you learn what you are capable of.
• You will develop more credibility as a skilled person/ professional.
• The more you learn, the more you can teach others.
• The more honed your craft is, the more you will stand out in your field.
• The further you go, the more you can create, because your understanding of your ability has grown.
• Your understanding of how things and processes work will improve.
• The greater the legacy you will leave behind. 

Fighting Inertia

A friend asked me just a moment ago, why someone who is not satisfied with a situation doesn’t do anything about it.

He himself is feeling frustrated and stressed about something specific in his life. He knows exactly what he wants to change, he has a very concrete image of what he wants to achieve, yet he does nothing for it.

“Why is that?” he asked me.

Our change starts the moment we bravely face the situation and acknowledge the problem. That is always the first step. So, from that perspective, he is doing something.

The second step is done when we reach out to a professional who we know can help us.

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”, says a Buddhist proverb.

That’s when we make a decision to work consciously on what we want to achieve – our third step – and we are able to recognize our “teacher”; the person who will accompany us on our journey of change.

Sometimes, the "why" my friend asked may be hiding in many different reasons:

• A structure that we are missing (aka the right professional)
• A commitment from our side (our decision)
• A underlying belief that is supported by the current situation
• A fear of the unknown, the unfamiliar
• A lack of connection with a vision

All of the above increase our self doubt and lack of confidence and the voice of the inner critic – this saboteur inside our head – becomes louder; we create excuses, we rationalize so many things to support our inertia; our frustration, even our stress levels increase (my friend suffers from stress). Depending on the levels of stress and distrust in ourselves, our decision-making ability is affected and we dive deeper into this vicious circle.

How to get rid of this circle?

Acknowledge the situation, make a decision, find the right person to help you, create a plan, enjoy your change. 

Notes on Goal Setting

When it comes to goal setting, there are many models that can be used: From the very popular SMART, to SMARTER, EXACT, and countless more that can be found with a basic google search.

Regardless of which model you are end up using, there are basically three elements that really matter:

1.     Relevance. What makes this goal meaningful to me? How is it relevant to what I want to create in my life, to who I am and what is important to me; to my vision and values? Relevance is what will give us motivation and ownership of the goal.

2.     Specifics. Exactly what is it that I want to achieve? When? How will I know it has been achieved? Specifics provide us with the necessary clarity and, eventually, even with the entire road map we need to follow.

3.     Appraisal. How can I evaluate the results? This will give us the opportunity to reflect on what has worked and what needs to be improved or changed and whether we are on track. 

Make Your Mark and See Where It Takes You

To anyone whose fear has shut down a long-held dream. To anyone who is so focused on what they cannot do that they forget what they can do. To anyone who hesitates to start:

Just make a mark and see where it takes you.

This is the message of The Dot, Peter H. Reynolds' book about a girl who thinks she cannot draw.

Below is a video of a Spanish amination of the book.

You can watch an English version here.

“Donde hay un punto, hay un camino.”

(Where there is a mark, there is a path.)

The Dot

Ability vs Willingness

“Why don’t you change that phrase into ‘the seed that you will sow’?”, asked my friend – aka support structure for this blog – regarding the last sentence of a recent post. “I think ‘will’ is more positive than ‘can’ ”, she added.

She is right. What you "will" do sounds more positive than what you "can" do. But here is the thing: my aim wasn't to make it more positive. When I ask "what can you do", I am acknowledging that there are things that can be done, I am acknowledging your ability to act. The purpose was to make the reader reflect precisely from that perspective.

I believe that each one of us has potential and unique abilities. There are countless things, little things that we can do daily. Tiny seeds that we can sow and watch them grow.

It’s not our ability that is missing; it’s the awareness of and confidence in that ability. 

So I am making the question again: What can you do? 

Commit to finding the answer. And once you have it, decide how willing you are to actually do it.

Music to Uplift the Spirit

Music: an art form whose medium is silence and sound. The word originates from the greek μουσική, the "art of the Muses".
Used properly it is an excellent medium that can smooth our soul and uplift our spirit.

Here are some of my favorite pieces that work fine for me:

My wake up tune, from one of my favorite musicals

From the land of the Incas

Anything from Hatzidakis and The Clouds in particular

An old recording from Stampen Jazz Club in Stockholm

Miriam Makeba and Pata Pata

An ... anthem

Any uplifting song needs some sunshine

Can you honestly not sing, dance, or even smile with this one? 

And remember, when life gets you down... 

Incompatible Dreams

Two days ago a friend of mine told me that not all dreams are compatible. That we can have, for example, two dreams that are totally incompatible one with another, and that is ok. Hearing that, both my mind and my spirit impulsively revolted at the idea.

Since I was a child, my dream was to live in a boat. As close to the sea as possible, yet attached to land and always ready to sail for any destination the wind should take me. Soon I became aware of another dream of mine: to have my own garden. Now that was an incompatible dream according to my friend. I obviously could not have a garden on my boat. So, what do I choose? Should I sacrifice one dream for the other?

The solution for me is easy. One day I would have my boat, my second home. I would live in a regular house, if lucky with my own garden, if not with a shared one and big verandas for my plants and then I would have my boat to spend as much time as possible, to sail away as possible.

To my understanding the solution is never giving up on one of the “incompatible” dreams. I do not believe in incompatible dreams in the first place. It is our perception that gives them this stamp. And once they are stamped as that, then it is ok not to pursue them anymore. If we say that what we dream of is incompatible, that’s what it is. If we say – as my father keeps telling me – that everything is possible, then no dream will be incompatible anymore. All it takes is to think outside of the box. To be more precise, other people’s boxes, those who “educate” us in what is compatible and what not. How much to dream and how much to pursue. What makes sense and what not.

I have many dreams. I have never stopped dreaming. Occasionally I catch myself doubting my strength to go after them; my ability to achieve them; my worthiness to live them. I may question my self, but I have never questioned my dreams or the possibility that they are all compatible, no matter how contradictory they sound.

 George Bernard Shaw wrote:

“You see things; and you say ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?’”

It is the fact that some dreams have never been combined to the understanding of people that makes them seem incompatible. Our world is full of great things that never were until someone came and acted from that “why not?” point of view.

Funnily enough, the dreams that were torturing my friend, were the exact dreams that another man I know is living. Ok, with a lot of help from his soul mate, who also never saw them as incompatible.  Maybe, all it takes is to ignore what we have been taught to be compatible and expected. Maybe all it takes is to find the other soul that will partner with our dreams. 

I will keep with my own dreams. I never judge them, criticize or approve them as unrealistic, unachievable, or incompatible one with another. I just accept them as they are. After all they are my dreams and they only need to make sense to me.