The Educational Paradox

We grow up learning about people, icons that are role models and an inspiration. Scientists, politicians, activists, explorers, artists, business people, religious leaders. Awakening, rebel or visionary spirits of all kinds, full of accomplishments to admire.

At the same time – oh the paradox – we learn how to choose a job that will pay the rent, how to study what will guarantee us this job, what to buy, what to have, how to live, think, value. We learn to repress our own vision and aspirations, our passions, dreams and desires just to make sure we will be able to adjust, adapt and survive.

Yet most of these figures, who we learn about in our schools, universities and families, who we read about in magazines, whose quotes we stumble upon every now and then and whose biographies we buy, had one thing in common:

They did the opposite of what we are being taught and followed their vision and passion. 

Best thing I heard today

"Even when I have insomnia, I dream."

Photo: Joel Robison 

On Leadership and Boldness

You never know where one step will take you. And you never know where the 

next one will lead. The difference in being a leader is that you take the step.

(Melissa Poe Hood)

What Is Our Legacy?

Attending an event to celebrate the 20^th anniversary of a non-profit organization, I heard a speaker listing its many contributions to the community.

In our individual endeavors it’s easy to focus on our vision, on what we want to leave behind. How about working on our collective efforts with one thing in mind: what would we like to celebrate 20 years later? What would we like to have in our list of contributions? 

Notes on Goal Setting

When it comes to goal setting, there are many models that can be used: From the very popular SMART, to SMARTER, EXACT, and countless more that can be found with a basic google search.

Regardless of which model you are end up using, there are basically three elements that really matter:

1.     Relevance. What makes this goal meaningful to me? How is it relevant to what I want to create in my life, to who I am and what is important to me; to my vision and values? Relevance is what will give us motivation and ownership of the goal.

2.     Specifics. Exactly what is it that I want to achieve? When? How will I know it has been achieved? Specifics provide us with the necessary clarity and, eventually, even with the entire road map we need to follow.

3.     Appraisal. How can I evaluate the results? This will give us the opportunity to reflect on what has worked and what needs to be improved or changed and whether we are on track. 

The Paradoxical Commandments

by Dr. Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.

Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.

Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.

Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.

Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.

Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.

Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.

Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.

Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.

Give the world the best you have anyway.

© Copyright Kent M. Keith 1968, renewed 2001

Anyway: The Paradoxical Commandments: Finding Personal Meaning in a Crazy World

On Secret Dreams

“What is your secret dream?” asked the actress her co-protagonist in a movie.

“You know”, she continued, “the secret you only reveal after consuming a sufficient amount of alcohol”.

Their dialogue continued but I was already lost in my thoughts. Why have a secret dream? Secret from whom?

We keep dreams secret not from others, but from ourselves. It’s our own judgment that we are afraid of. We are either intimidated by the power our dreams can have, or we want to spare ourselves the frustration of not accomplishing them. Oh, there is also the belief we might have grown up with: that dreams do not come true; they belong to fairy tales.

What is left then? If we do not confess our dreams not even to ourselves, if we keep them so secret that not even we can know them, then how are we supposed to go after them? How are we supposed to live a happy, fulfilling life?

Martin Luther King's, Jr. speech and actions were about his dream. What would have happened if that had been a secret dream?

“Nothing happens unless first a dream.” (Carl Sandburg)

Dare to dream. And dare to dream loudly. Let your dreams be known to others but most importantly to yourself. Talk confidently about them and surrender to the direction they will take you. 

How far are you willing to go?

Today I drove 180 km for work. Viewed purely from a business perspective, the hard fact is that I shouldn’t have done that; it wasn’t “good business”.

On my way back home I was smiling, tired but happy: I have taken the first step towards a vision of mine. All it cost me was challenging and abandoning any idea of what should and should not be done. And driving 180 km.

This is a Thai commercial that has gone viral and I believe perfectly relates to this message. The Hero performs his glorious tasks for what he desires most: a world made more beautiful.

When it comes to your vision, when it comes to your goals, dreams and desires, how far are you willing to go? What is the first step that you will take, the seed that you can sow? 

Staying True to My Vision

“If it’s such a good opportunity, why don’t you take advantage of it?” a friend and colleague asked me today. I had just shared with her news of what seemed an excellent career opportunity.

Well, everything did seem ideal and I had referred another colleague for the position. The company is great and the owner is a person who is delightful to work with. However, he has his own vision of what he is creating. Working with him would have meant giving up my vision of what I want to create.

The reply left my lips spontaneously and with confidence:

“I prefer to fail going after my dreams, than succeed achieving someone else’s dreams.”

© Eternal Optimists

Empty Your Cup

A master martial artist asked Bruce Lee to teach him everything Bruce knew about martial arts.

Bruce held up two cups, both filled with liquid. “The first cup”, he said, “represents all of your knowledge about martial arts. The second cup represents all of my knowledge about martial arts. If you want to fill your cup with my knowledge, you must first empty your cup of your knowledge.”

Steve Pavlina uses this story in his blog to tell us that if we want to discover our true purpose in life, we must first empty our mind of all the false purposes we’ve been taught.

I think this story is about everything we decide to do and be: the discovery of a life purpose or any kind of mastery.

If we want to be the leader, boss, partner etc we can be, if we want to create something new, or simply reach the goal that we have set, we must let go of any false beliefs, misconceptions, assumptions, judgments and ideas that are not serving us.

“You can’t reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday’s junk.” (Louise Smith)

Legacies

The third Monday of January every year sees the celebration of the life and achievements of Martin Luther King : it is the Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, an American federal holiday. 

Although I am neither an American, nor live in the US, I like to take this opportunity to reflect on his life and legacy. This year, today, the best opportunity came with an article titled: "Instead of Worshiping Dr. King, How About Working Like Him?" 

A light went on in my head. Every day, every time I check my facebook timeline I come across posts with the quotes and photos of different personalities that my contacts share. People that they admire, recognize, worship. 
How difficult is it to stop considering them as something unattainable, as the author of this article suggests? 

How achievable is it for any one of us to think of our role models, the people that we admire and inspire us, and work like them? Instead of just spreading quotes and stories from them, to actually do like them: be the changing agents and follow their legacy or create a new one. 

 

photo credit: http://www.sc.edu/eop/MLK/2010king.html

What is your vision?

The vision process is always self-examination. It’s never “God, I want this. Make this happen.” It’s always “What do I have to become to live the vision, to manifest it, to reveal it?” The visioning process, then, is a process of transformation of the individual.                                                                                            Reverend Michael Beckwith

Have a vision. Define it and boldly go after it. And remember: 

Some times we must let go of who we are in order to become who we can be.

Incompatible Dreams

Two days ago a friend of mine told me that not all dreams are compatible. That we can have, for example, two dreams that are totally incompatible one with another, and that is ok. Hearing that, both my mind and my spirit impulsively revolted at the idea.

Since I was a child, my dream was to live in a boat. As close to the sea as possible, yet attached to land and always ready to sail for any destination the wind should take me. Soon I became aware of another dream of mine: to have my own garden. Now that was an incompatible dream according to my friend. I obviously could not have a garden on my boat. So, what do I choose? Should I sacrifice one dream for the other?

The solution for me is easy. One day I would have my boat, my second home. I would live in a regular house, if lucky with my own garden, if not with a shared one and big verandas for my plants and then I would have my boat to spend as much time as possible, to sail away as possible.

To my understanding the solution is never giving up on one of the “incompatible” dreams. I do not believe in incompatible dreams in the first place. It is our perception that gives them this stamp. And once they are stamped as that, then it is ok not to pursue them anymore. If we say that what we dream of is incompatible, that’s what it is. If we say – as my father keeps telling me – that everything is possible, then no dream will be incompatible anymore. All it takes is to think outside of the box. To be more precise, other people’s boxes, those who “educate” us in what is compatible and what not. How much to dream and how much to pursue. What makes sense and what not.

I have many dreams. I have never stopped dreaming. Occasionally I catch myself doubting my strength to go after them; my ability to achieve them; my worthiness to live them. I may question my self, but I have never questioned my dreams or the possibility that they are all compatible, no matter how contradictory they sound.

 George Bernard Shaw wrote:

“You see things; and you say ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?’”

It is the fact that some dreams have never been combined to the understanding of people that makes them seem incompatible. Our world is full of great things that never were until someone came and acted from that “why not?” point of view.

Funnily enough, the dreams that were torturing my friend, were the exact dreams that another man I know is living. Ok, with a lot of help from his soul mate, who also never saw them as incompatible.  Maybe, all it takes is to ignore what we have been taught to be compatible and expected. Maybe all it takes is to find the other soul that will partner with our dreams. 

I will keep with my own dreams. I never judge them, criticize or approve them as unrealistic, unachievable, or incompatible one with another. I just accept them as they are. After all they are my dreams and they only need to make sense to me.