Let's Do Something Awesome Today!

Dance barefoot.  Play with a child.  Climb a mountain.  Climb a tree.  Walk barefoot in the grass or the sand.  Wander around the city.  Volunteer.  Talk to strangers.  Sit in the sun and close your eyes.  Write a poem.  Visit a museum.  Lend a helping hand.  Fly a kite.  Watch the sunrise.  Sing out loud.  Watch the stars.

Make Your Soul Grow

By Maria Le Du

I was watching my three-year-old niece sing and dance the other day. Barefoot, in the living room, words to the song half-mumbled and half-made up, her dancing a clumsy sashaying to and fro. And it was beautiful. Not because it was an accomplished performance, but because the pleasure it gave her made the whole a radiant experience to behold.

We all sang and danced and told stories when we were little. We drew, and glued and painted and acted and performed, unconscious of concepts such as audience, acceptance, evaluation and review. Unaware that it may be art. We only did it because it felt good.

Which brings me to the wise words of Kurt Vonnegut:

“If you want to really hurt you parents, and you don't have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do is go into the arts. I'm not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possible can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country

So go on. Take a shower so you can sing. Turn on the radio so you can dance. Call a friend to tell a story. Go to the keyboard to write a poem. Create something.

Installation view of The Obliteration Room as part of 'Yayoi Kusama : Look Now, See Forever', Gallery of Modern Art, 2011 / © Yayoi Kusama Studio Inc.

*Kusama made a totally white room and gave colored dot stickers to all the visiting children who stuck them wherever they wanted.

Being Childish

By Konstantinos Kontos

Children grow up so fast. Ask any parent. Before you know it, your best little person in the world, you loved niece and nephew or grandchildren, they’ve all left behind that magical age and stepped in as another, proverbial cog in society’s, inexorable machine. 

We lament the loss of childhood and adults often reminisce, with sweet sorrow, that time in their lives. But, what do we really lose as we grow up? Is this loss important, not only for the individual but for society as a whole?

There’s so much to be said for the spontaneity that children exhibit, the carefree life and the joy of discovering the world around you. But I wish to put my finger on something else. Naïveté. 

The process of growing up is largely one of conformity. As we’re driven to conform, we bend and get shaped into a mould (norm). We acquire rules and behavioral patterns. Our thoughts are shaped as per those patterns. Slowly but steadily we begin to perceive the world and our relationships through those patterns. Pretty soon, our minds are unfettered no more.

Frank Herbert envisioned this very well in his unique, trans-humanist, Dune universe. He writes of the need to cultivate the naive mind as a path to achieving great mental feats. In this context the word naive does not equal foolishness. It implies a straight line of thought. And I believe Herbert was right.

If we we meta-cognize a little and reflect upon ourselves we are able to see the unnecessary complications, the round-about way of our everyday thinking. Most importantly, the presumptions and prejudices in our relationships. Whenever we do any of that we are essentially, transferring mental power to tasks irrelevant to our true well being and to that of our community. We lose power that we could use to process positive thinking and advance our culture.

Children have none of those restrictions. They are naive. They see the world as it is and reason in straight lines. They use all of their faculties to achieve the goals that are truly meaningful to them. They love purely and dislike honestly. They imagine directly out of their feelings and not through established, collective myths. 

They’re being childish. And we might gain a lot by entering their realm as often as we can.

Resourcefulness

Resourcefulness: the ability to cope with difficult situations, or unusual problems.

I am undoubtedly a resourceful person. I think I always have been. I do not bother much with talking about a problem – unless, of course, I need to vent or receive some empathy. I stay focused and find out how to resolve the situation.

I had the good fortune, of course, to be raised by a father who kept saying nothing is impossible and by a mother who trusted me fully to find solutions.

Still, I believe that everyone is resourceful. I believe that every person has the ability to act effectively or imaginatively in difficult situations. What stands in the way are beliefs, which form specific attitudes and behaviors.

So here is my process, more or less:

I have confidence. Whether I was on a sailing boat in rough sea, suspended from ropes in a cave, or working at my desk, managing a project, or coping with an illness, I had confidence that I have what is needed, or that I will find what is needed.

When something happens, I never think of it as a problem. I do not consider a conflict, a mistake or any kind of crisis a problem. It is what it is: a situation that needs to be dealt with.

My senses stay focused. No room for panic, fear or sadness. I can always take my time after the situation is managed to process the feelings. For now, it’s only about staying focused, unhindered by anything that is not helpful.

There is no room for any thoughts about what cannot be done. My only and immediate thought is “what needs to happen?” and from that comes the "how", options to make it happen. I never doubt, not even for a second, that there is a way to achieve what needs to happen.

Knowledge, strengths, skills, resources, structures, all immediately fill my mind in a brainstorm and like pieces of a puzzle find their place and form the solution.

If you start from this point, that every problem has a solution and that you have the ability to cope with any problem, if you start with confidence and calm, what would you do differently? 

Freedom and Beliefs

“We are born believing. A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Beliefs define us. They define our identity and how we feel about ourselves, influence our relationships and set the limits of what we can achieve.

“In our development, as we grow throughout our lives, the structure of our beliefs becomes more complicated, and we make it even more complicated because we make the assumption that what we believe is the absolute truth.” Miguel Angel Ruiz 

Beliefs can be divided into core beliefs and dispositional beliefs and can be about anything: about ourselves – our abilities, strengths or weaknesses, and worth, - about love, money, about men and women, about absolutely anything.

“When it comes to controlling human beings, there is not better instrument than lies. Because you see, humans live by beliefs. And beliefs can be manipulated. The power to manipulate beliefs is the only thing that counts.” Michael Ende 

Our reality is shaped by all our beliefs. Our actions and reactions are a result of these beliefs. Who we become is an outcome of what we believe about the word and ourselves.

“If you do not change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever. Is that good news?” W. Somerset Maugham 

This is not an easy or popular idea. It means that we are ready to admit that our life is not necessarily a result of our circumstances. How many are ready to test and challenge their beliefs? How many are willing to change their beliefs and stop feeling victimized, blaming others, giving up, reacting?

“You want your beliefs to change. It’s proof that you are keeping your eyes open, living fully and welcoming everything that the world and the people around you can teach you.” Anna Rowley

It’s not about changing who you are: it’s about evolving and discovering who you truly, authentically are.

“The process of recognizing your beliefs and then challenging and testing them is hard work. But the potential rewards are enormous: a significant change in your sense of worth. An easing of fear. A willingness to take new risks. A sense of freedom.” Matthew McKay, Patrick Fanning (Prisoners of Beliefs) 

On Accountability

In ethics and governance, accountability is answerability, blameworthiness, liability, and the expectation of account giving. (Clarence Dykstra, "The Quest for Responsibility") 

I call on people to be ‘obsessed citizens’, forever questioning and asking for accountability. That’s the only chance we have today of a healthy and happy life. ~ Ai Weiwei

A body of men holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody. ~ Thomas Paine

It is wrong and immoral to seek to escape the consequences of one’s acts. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong. ~ Thomas Sowell

It’s not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable. ~ Moliere 

Bravery and Decision Making

“The problem is that I am coward”, I said.

“You are not a coward Katerina, you are indecisive”, my professor replied. Back then, in 1994, I had no idea how right he was. I viewed myself as someone craven, unable to go after what they wanted.

Today I was reminded of that conversation during a mentoring session. We were talking about goal setting and the analogy of a sailing boat in the sea. If there is no clear destination, how can decisions on the route, the sails, even the supplies needed be made? The right or wrong decision isn’t just a moral thing. It’s also a matter of what is right or wrong with regard to our route, our destination. What it makes sense to do, what the potential is and what is really important.

Back in 1994, I had no idea of who I was and what the goals that mattered to me were. I think I am not alone in this. How many of us grow up with an imposed idea of what we should be doing?

I went on with my life convinced I was gutless. You can imagine my surprise the first time the report of a strengths assessment I had taken highlighted bravery as my top strength. I took the assessment again and again to make sure. It didn’t make any sense.

Today it all makes sense. With a clear idea of who I am, with the confidence that I can do anything I set myself to do – and there are too many things, too many goals on my list – I have no difficulty whatsoever to make any decision.

Let a boat be in the sea. It can float in any direction depending on the currents, it can go towards any destination, depending on the command, it can sink or it can travel eternally. It can also take us places. Places we have always wanted to see and be in and sometimes we didn’t even know it.

          "Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"

          "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.

          "I don't much care where –" said Alice.

          "Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat.

                                    Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll, 1865

To Float or Not to Float?

There is one thing that piques my curiosity and excites my anticipation to try it, yet at the same time provokes a kind of fear and anxiety: isolation tanks, also know as sensory deprivation tanks.

I am excited with the potential that such an experience can hold. What would it be like to reflect at such levels? What new awareness could be gained? 

At the same time, the idea of being deprived of my senses, of disappearing, scares me. I remember losing my sensory faculties during a deep relaxation session, but I had the safety net of a trainer by my side who helped my come out of it.

And although I found unexpected peace once when I happened to be left alone in a cave exploration (while waiting for the rest of the team I turned off my flashlight to save battery), in the absolute silence and darkness I could still sense my body.

How would it be to be cut off from all of one's senses? To be absolutely alone with one’s thoughts? What new things would I learn? 

Here is one more thought: Has our life become so 'busy', so hectic, so full of stimulus that meditation alone is not enough? That in order for us to find deep relaxation, deep self-reflection and connection with our deeper thoughts at such levels, we need to build chambers to isolate ourselves there?

Odysseys and What Really Matters

We are all travelers. We come here, to this world and we make decisions on any journeys we want to take. The road is rarely smooth, but that doesn’t really matter. What matters is the destination. 

Or maybe not?

Throughout my life, I have thrown myself into several journeys that were like small Odysseys. These Odysseys challenged me to doubt everything I knew, gave me the opportunity to test myself and to learn and grow.

None of them have been without a Scylla and Charybdis, Sirens or Cyclops. Like any journey worth making, they've had their ups and downs, some really scary roller coaster moments. But each one of them gave me the privilege and blessing of the people I would get to know on the way: people who have become my inspiration, my role models, and my best friends. People who have seen me at my best and at my worst and who still keep faith in me. People with whom working is a unique experience of learning. People who have become my silent accomplices and support system in the challenges I take. People who amaze me with their wisdom, kindness and generosity.

None of my journeys, no matter how far they would get me, would have any worth without the people.

Go make your decisions, set your destinations; or not. Find your path or create it. Enjoy your trips, your Odysseys. But most importantly enjoy and treasure the most valuable resource that you will meet in these Odysseys: the people.

Dedicated to a friend who made my heart sing with her generosity today. 

Celebrating Word Poetry Day

In 1999, UNESCO designated March 21^st as Word Poetry Day. 

Although “All the words are not enough to get anything said” (Yiannis Ritsos), poetry uses words to create beauty.

     “Poetry is the rhythmical creation of beauty in words.”  (Edgar Allan Poe)

Poetry can be everything and everywhere.

     “To see the Summer Sky Is Poetry,

     though never in a Book it lie –

     True Poems flee – ”  (Emily Dickinson)

Poetry comes from the soul. It invites both the poet and the reader to look into their souls.

     “And a soul

     if it is to know itself

     must look

     into its own soul:

     the stranger and enemy, we’ve seen him in the mirror.”  (George Seferis)

 And then, it may lead to something higher. 

     “But you must know that only he 

     who fights the darkness within will the day after tomorrow have his

     own share in the sun.”  (Odysseus Elytis)

Staying True to My Vision

“If it’s such a good opportunity, why don’t you take advantage of it?” a friend and colleague asked me today. I had just shared with her news of what seemed an excellent career opportunity.

Well, everything did seem ideal and I had referred another colleague for the position. The company is great and the owner is a person who is delightful to work with. However, he has his own vision of what he is creating. Working with him would have meant giving up my vision of what I want to create.

The reply left my lips spontaneously and with confidence:

“I prefer to fail going after my dreams, than succeed achieving someone else’s dreams.”

© Eternal Optimists

Give Yourself Credit

How easily do we share with others the small or great achievements we accomplish in our everyday life?

There is a challenge with sharing publicly what we call “wins”:

-  We are afraid of how others will judge us: that we are bragging or showing off.
-  We think our win is not important enough to share. It’s just something small, even if it took a lot of work, time, or effort to achieve.
-  We feel others will not be interested in listening; even if our win is very important to us and makes us very happy, why should they care for it?
-  We have been taught that a modest person does not talk about him/herself and so should we.
-  That confident people do not need to talk about themselves and their achievements; only arrogant people do.

I had always been told by my mother that if I do something right or good, I should let others talk about it. If I am good at something, others should acknowledge it, not me.

We have a ritual at the coaching school where I teach: we start each class by inviting students to share a recent win with us and celebrate together. Exploring the obstacles that prevent us from generously share our wins with them today, I realized that I was still hesitant to do what I was asking.

So, the first thing I did straight after class was to challenge all these beliefs and post both on twitter and facebook the following message (in Greek): “If you do not follow my blog, you are missing out” (together with a request for feedback, ideas and support). That was something I never would have dared to write or say before. 

If you allowed yourself to be proud today, to generously acknowledge the baby steps that you are taking everyday, what would you “brag” about? 

On Learning and Courage

Today, some of Gianpiero Petriglieri's tweets were about learning and courage – and difficult conversations.

“Real learning takes and makes real courage”, he tweeted.

To follow up with “How much grown ups learn, how fast, depends on how much courage and permission we have to look at, and talk about, what’s easier to ignore.”

How do we define or perceive learning? For me learning is about improving, growing, evolving and developing. With this in mind, what is the role of courage?

I was thinking of the courage to detach ourselves from everything that we know, or we think we know. Once again the Bruce Lee story came to my mind and the cup we need to empty.

But the second tweet got me thinking. 

I am not sure what were the difficult (or delicate) conversations Gianpiero Petriglieri mentioned; I'll be waiting for his new article to find out. What I am sure of is that any kind of learning requires a great deal of self-awareness, at least from my perspective. Any knowledge starts with self-knowledge. From that perspective, what are the things that are easier to ignore?

If we gave ourselves permission and we had abundant courage, what would be the difficult conversations that we would be having with ourselves? 

Real learning takes and makes real courage.
— GianpieroPetriglieri (@gpetriglieri) March 18, 2014

Why Procrastination Rocks

"How do you beat procrastination?", a student asked me. 

I don’t!

I have come to terms with my procrastination; I even enjoy it. Last weekend I had a deadline for a project. In just a couple of hours my house was cleaner than ever. The project could wait.

I have fully embraced my procrastination. Ok, the fact that I can finish tasks super fast when I have to, really helps. So it’s simple for me: I procrastinate and when I have no other option, no more time, I sit down, focus intensely and do whatever needs to be done. My focus is so sharp, that I perform better than If I take my time.

Procrastination also allows me more time to reflect on the task. I am a reflector. I need that time. I am not going to make drafts and plans and pre-work on something. I need to process everything in my mind and when I am ready (and out of time), there I go.

Procrastination has occasionally saved me. The delay had brought to surface information that was essential. Or, in other cases, it had provided me with the opportunity to say a “no” that I should have said from the beginning, but I hadn’t.

Thanks to procrastination I am more conscious of the task I am doing and why.

Oh, it can be fun too: I see friends I should have told them “I cannot join you, I have a deadline”, I take long walks in the city and I spend time helping my nieces with their homework, or letting them beat me at board games.  

Procrastination takes the pressure off, when there is something stressful or unpleasant that needs to get done, because after a certain amount of time and many internal dialogues it just doesn’t seem that significant any more, so with lightheartedness it gets done or dumped (the urgent vs important matrix works much better when procrastinating).

Finally, it’s because of procrastination that I can keep the house clean and tidy – how could I find the time to do that otherwise?

I tell you, Brian Tracy was right about Eating that Frog, but sometimes frogs are better eaten with a shorter (or longer) delay. 

PS: in writing this blog post, I didn’t procrastinate at all. The fact that the book I must read still lays untouched next to my keyboard, is purely coincidental. 

Music to Uplift the Spirit

Music: an art form whose medium is silence and sound. The word originates from the greek μουσική, the "art of the Muses".
Used properly it is an excellent medium that can smooth our soul and uplift our spirit.

Here are some of my favorite pieces that work fine for me:

My wake up tune, from one of my favorite musicals

From the land of the Incas

Anything from Hatzidakis and The Clouds in particular

An old recording from Stampen Jazz Club in Stockholm

Miriam Makeba and Pata Pata

An ... anthem

Any uplifting song needs some sunshine

Can you honestly not sing, dance, or even smile with this one? 

And remember, when life gets you down...