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There are days when the only thing that we can do is to...

The truth about truth

'There is your point and the other person's point; who can we believe? The truth can have many faces', I heard from the other side of the phone. 

No. Truth cannot have many faces. Because truth is based on facts and facts are indisputable. Not being fully - or at all - aware of something does not mean that this does not exist. 

"The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is."Sir Winston Churchill

Speak Up!

Today I had a conversation with a dear colleague about an unpleasant situation. While we were talking she confessed her demotivation due to specific behaviors. She found them very inappropriate, yet stayed like the majority of the people witnessing them, silent. I replied with Edmund Burke’s words: “all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing”.

We were heading towards an outcome that was going to destroy the efforts of years and where the “evil” would triumphed.  Then I confessed my own frustration for the silence of the others, that none stood up for what they (we) considered right.

Most of my life has been defined by Confucius words: "To see and listen to the wicked is already the beginning of wickedness." I have refused to silently listen and see the wicked, which brings me often to trouble. But then, I know I am true to myself and in peace, although many times I have to face undesired conflicts, even bullying, just to shut up.

Nobody likes conflicts. Nobody wants to engage in situations that are not what they were supposed to be, or where it seems pointless to speak up. Yet not being heard is no reason for silence. And if all you need is a little courage in order for you to speak, consider that as a testing point.

“Courage is not simply one the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point” (C.S. Lewis)

Speak up and remember: “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.” (Bishop Desmond Tutu)

I speak up. Sometimes I am heard, sometimes I get into trouble. All of the times I stay true to my commitment to integrity.

What is your vision?

The vision process is always self-examination. It’s never “God, I want this. Make this happen.” It’s always “What do I have to become to live the vision, to manifest it, to reveal it?” The visioning process, then, is a process of transformation of the individual.                                                                                            Reverend Michael Beckwith

Have a vision. Define it and boldly go after it. And remember: 

Some times we must let go of who we are in order to become who we can be.

Words Matter

Those who follow me on social media know my love for quotes. I have always found these short combinations of words wisely put together a great source of inspiration and insights.

I think of them as a very indicative trace that we live behind, indicative of our philosophy, believes, personality.

Although our existence is defined and characterized by our deeds, words matter. These tiny extracts of wisdom called quotes are just one more evidence of that.

In his book The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz’s first agreement is 'Be impeccable with your words'. 

“Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

I must admit that whenever I am upset, angry or heart, I find it very difficult to keep that agreement. I must refrain from any re-action and ask myself: is my impulse to use my words to react to the situation and/or person in alignment with the first agreement?

A few days ago, just before the old year expired and we all welcomed the new one with celebrations, I received a message, a short reply, that could easily reduce me to tears. I remembered the second agreement: 'Don’t take anything personally', and I breathed. When the shock of the aggressive and mean reply had faded I reminded myself how my deeds were proving that message wrong. 

Finally I laughed.

Having this thing for quotes made me think that if those were the sender’s last words, her final quote for the year, it was a terrible thing for her. Who wants to be remembered with words used in the direction of resentment?

New awareness and insights:

1. Words matter, weather we like it or not. In Greek there is a saying "The tongue has no bones, yet it crushes bones". Use your tongue (words) to build something positive, something loving and meaningful, not to break.

2. What would happen if we all thought of our words as our last words, our quotes that would be left behind to remind to others who we were and what we were about?

The Four Agreements

On Productivity

Checking today’s stories on Zite, I found quite a few articles on productivity (again). Tips and rules to be more productive, practices and strategies of the most productive people, tons of articles, blog posts, videos, even infographics, all there available for us thanks to the web and the wisdom of others so that we can find the ultimate model to get things done.

Yesterday I was reading through one of these articles where the writer was sharing his daily routine which helps him be so productive. A short article, the kind of articles that a lazy reader like me enjoys, with many information even about the eating habits of a stranger.

It worked! Even if the goal of the writer – guru of productivity was to give me a kind of structure that he has, I got the enlightenment of the actual strategy – and only structure needed for me to be productive:

All my great moments of creativity and productivity, all the periods where I get things done are achieved by this model: I just seat down and do the work!

I put myself in the office, on the road, over the phone, at the keyboard, wherever needed and start doing what needs to be done. 

You want to be more productive? Decide what your goal is, make the list of what needs to be done and start doing. And if you find yourself struggling with a "frog", just follow Brian Tracy's advice and eat that frog! 

A Simple Rule Of Thumb

When we ask someone who or how they want to be, the most frequent initial replies are about what they do not want. "I do not want to be reactive, I do not want to be needy, I do not want to be x, y, or z."
Although in coaching we encourage clients to set positive desired outcomes, I have found the value in being clear about who or how we do not want to be. My inspiration and example to follow come from The Office and one particular character - Dwight - and his words of wisdom:
"Whenever I am about to do something, I think 'would an idiot do that?' and if they would, I do not do that thing."

Having a very clear and specific idea of who we want to be is perfect. We get focused direction, we build on that, we take actions accordingly and we develop new habits and behaviors.
Having a very clear idea of who we do not want to be can be perfect too - and very effective - with this simple rule of thumb. Like Dwight, every time you have the impulse to react to a situation, just ask yourself: "would an aggressive (insecure, mean, ... you name it) person do that?" If the answer is yes, DON'T do it!