A friend asked me just a moment ago, why someone who is not
satisfied with a situation doesn’t do anything about it.
He himself is feeling frustrated and stressed about
something specific in his life. He knows exactly what he wants to change, he
has a very concrete image of what he wants to achieve, yet he does nothing for
it.
“Why is that?” he asked me.
Our change starts the moment we bravely face the situation
and acknowledge the problem. That is always the first step. So, from that
perspective, he is doing something.
The second step is done when we reach out to a
professional who we know can help us.
“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”, says a
Buddhist proverb.
That’s when we make a decision to work consciously on what
we want to achieve – our third step – and we are able to recognize our
“teacher”; the person who will accompany us on our journey of change.
Sometimes, the "why" my friend asked may be hiding in many different
reasons:
- A structure that we are missing (aka the right professional)
- A commitment from our side (our decision)
- A underlying belief that is supported by the current situation
- A fear of the unknown, the unfamiliar
- A lack of connection with a vision
All of the above increase our self doubt and lack of confidence and the voice of the inner critic – this saboteur inside our head – becomes louder;
we create excuses, we rationalize so many things to support our inertia; our
frustration, even our stress levels increase (my friend suffers from stress).
Depending on the levels of stress and distrust in ourselves, our
decision-making ability is affected and we dive deeper into this vicious
circle.
How to get rid of this circle?
Acknowledge the situation, make a decision, find the right
person to help you, create a plan, enjoy your change.
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