Choosing Who to Trust

Today was an interesting chain of 'trust happenings':

First, as part of the International Coaching Week’s celebrations, two pro bono sessions with people who trusted that I was the person to help them.

Followed by a call by someone who needed my assistance in a situation.

All three persons were unknown to me until this morning.

In the evening, a conversation with my nieces about honesty (and trust).

And finally, a class on the topic “Creating Trust” – oh, the coincidence!

In Charles Feltman’s book, "The Thin Book of Trust", he defines the four distinctions (assessments) of trust: 

1. Sincerity – “I mean what I say, say what I mean, and act accordingly.”
2. Reliability – “You can count on me to deliver what I promise!”
3. Competence – “I know I can do this. I don’t know if I can do that.”
4. Care – “We’re in this together.”

In each one of the above cases, the persons who trusted in me – even the students who showed up at the Trust class – have in one way or another assessed me in these four distinctions before being sure that I am the one (coach, trainer or aunt) that they can trust.

We all want to be in situations and relationships of abundant trust. That’s where we thrive, where we can be our authentic self, make our best decisions, take risks and evolve.

We want to have trust in our politicians, in our partners, in our bosses, in our family and friends. How about the trust that others can have in us?

And how about the trust that we have in ourselves?

The question I left my students with today was not only about steps to create or increase trust from the perspective of these four distinctions, but also about the steps and actions needed to maintain these, to maintain Trust.

What about you? How do you build trust? How do you maintain trust? 

Photo: Kevin Colton, from Ronen "Roni" Koresh's work "Trust"