The Negative Thought Trap (and a hidden upside)

There is a lot said – and written – about negative thinking. Just today Pick the Brain had an article on “15 Quotes to Help You Smash Negative Thinking”. It’s not an exaggeration to say that negative thoughts can consume our life. But how aware of them are we?

How many of us have had conversations where we were sharing our goals and the other person was responding with phrases like “it’s not easy”, “it will be hard for you”, “it’s not very realistic your goal”? 

What is happening in these cases? Does the other person intend to show empathy? To comfort you that your goal is difficult indeed and that it makes sense for you to meet difficulties? If there are statements of acknowledgment for setting the bar so high for oneself, it may be that we have an incomplete expression of empathy.

But, what if these phrases came from the other person's own negative thoughts, stated at a moment that you need their encouragement more than anything? 

Can we think about whether we have fallen into this trap? Whether we have projected our own negativity and perspective on the subject? Do we always create the space to explore the opportunities, rather than engage with the fear?  

Negative thoughts are not necessarily something we need to fight or ignore. With the right tools and approach, they can give us great insights about false beliefs and fears, challenge them and – why not – get rid of them.

We only need to be mindful of them and keep them for our own exploration, avoiding the trap of projecting them onto others.