The Guilt-Free "No"

Three years ago I had the good fortune to work with a very wise and empathetic colleague who was always very generous with his knowledge and time.

One of the biggest lessons I learned from him was that every time someone says “no” to something, he/she says “yes” to something else.

This new awareness helped create a very different perspective on what I had considered, until that time, a rejection. Later, it helped me find little by little my own “noes” that would allow me to say the “yesses” that were more important to me.

Today I heard another colleague sharing the “no” that she had to say. I was hearing her pain, as that “no” meant she had to forego another opportunity to provide a meaningful service. It reminded me of the pain I had experienced last year when I found myself in a similar situation; where the unwilling yet conscious “no” I had to say meant that I had to leave something that was not only meaningful, but in which I had invested practically all of my being: time, energy, knowledge, resourcefulness, emotions.

I still consider it one of my most difficult and brave decisions.

How can an unwilling “no” be brave?

There are situations that no matter how meaningful they are, we need to let go if the circumstances of these situations do not allow us to enjoy the self-care or respect we deserve; the balance and inner peace without which it is impossible for us to keep growing and moving forward. And serving after all. Because, if any of these "yesses" are missing from these situations, then "no" may be the word that must be said. 

photo credit: http://www.inspiredhealthcoaching.com