Choose Your Battles Wisely

“You have to choose your battles”,  my wise friend reminded me today. “You have to choose which ones are worth to fight and do not fight alone”, he added.  

I follow his words of advice – this and many others – with the awareness that “what lies in our power to do, it lies in our power not to do.” (Aristotle)

Where Do You Look?

A few precious minutes with holocaust survivor Alice Herz-Sommer, interviewed by Anthony Robbins: "I look where it's good."

"This I learned: to be thankful for everything."  

 Alice Herz-Sommer, pianist, born 26 November 1903; died 23 February 2014.

If I Had My Life to Live Over

If I had my life to live over,
I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
I'd relax. 
I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances.
I would take more trips.
I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
I would, perhaps, have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I'm one of those people who live sensibly and sanely, 
hour after hour, 
day after day.

Oh, I've had my moments and if I had it to do over again, I'd have more of them. 
In fact, I'd try to have nothing else - just moments.
One after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.
I've been one of those people who never go anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute.

If I had my life to live over, 
I would start barefoot earlier in the spring 
and stay that way later in the fall.
If I had it to do again, 
I would travel lighter next time.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies.

Poem by Nadine Stair (age 85) 
from Condensed Chicken Soup for the Soul

 

photo credit: http://evgenidinev.photoshelter.com/image/I0000tiORYBMOQtc

The Freedom to Make Mistakes

Every week, in a class where the aim is to put learning into practice, I finish my introduction with an unorthodox call to action: “Now, let’s make some mistakes!”.

One day, I asked students why I invite them to make mistakes. The response was that mistakes are learning opportunity. 

Well, we have all heard that before, yet we still hesitate to create such an “opportunity”.

No, my call to action is actually saying dare to do things. It is about a different kind of opportunity, the kind that makes us more open when we allow ourselves not to be perfect and we feel ok with that.

photo credit: http://www.tienganhvui.com/2013/05/elbert-hubbard_13.html

The Negative Thought Trap (and a hidden upside)

There is a lot said – and written – about negative thinking. Just today Pick the Brain had an article on “15 Quotes to Help You Smash Negative Thinking”. It’s not an exaggeration to say that negative thoughts can consume our life. But how aware of them are we?

How many of us have had conversations where we were sharing our goals and the other person was responding with phrases like “it’s not easy”, “it will be hard for you”, “it’s not very realistic your goal”? 

What is happening in these cases? Does the other person intend to show empathy? To comfort you that your goal is difficult indeed and that it makes sense for you to meet difficulties? If there are statements of acknowledgment for setting the bar so high for oneself, it may be that we have an incomplete expression of empathy.

But, what if these phrases came from the other person's own negative thoughts, stated at a moment that you need their encouragement more than anything? 

Can we think about whether we have fallen into this trap? Whether we have projected our own negativity and perspective on the subject? Do we always create the space to explore the opportunities, rather than engage with the fear?  

Negative thoughts are not necessarily something we need to fight or ignore. With the right tools and approach, they can give us great insights about false beliefs and fears, challenge them and – why not – get rid of them.

We only need to be mindful of them and keep them for our own exploration, avoiding the trap of projecting them onto others.  

Let's Do Something Extraordinary!

In Praise of Idleness

"Far from idleness being the root of all evil, 

it is rather the only true good."

                                                        Soren Kierkegaard 

 John William Godward, Idleness 

The Doers III – The Story They Have Chosen

Yesterday, a colleague asked me how I manage to do so many things. I would very much have liked to reply that I am a master of time management. I am not.

Is it the juggling classes I once took in Barcelona? Is it my dedication, as she said?

Earlier today, I had decided to post this great video by the amazing Lisa Bloom, also part of the Reaching Re-Birth series.  Watching her video again I realized one thing: that for every project I undertake, every "thing" I do, before I even start, the story I tell myself is fun, powerful, empowering.

Watch Lisa’s video and get an insight on the kind of stories Doers choose to tell. 

The Doers II - How to Make Things Happen

Following up on yesterday’s post on the Doers and the just do it attitude, here is a video of how to make things happen and be a person of action.

This video was part of the art project Reaching Re-Birth, presented at the Athens Biennale by the artists DASHNDEM.

Although it addresses the Greek citizens and any citizen living in an adverse or challenging environment, it provides an approach on how to take action.

We all face internal or external challenges and at some point we all want to overcome them and move beyond what is stopping us. No matter what these challenges are, believe in your meaningful goal, make the decision to be the Doer, commit to this decision, just do it – take action, step by step and never give up. 

The Doers

During a class today, a student shared an opportunity that showed up and the action he needed to take. Asking him what he needed to move forward with his plan, he just replied “nothing; I will just do it!”.

For me, this is always music to my ears. “I’ll just do it.” Simple; clear; determined.

A phrase that pretty accurately reflects my philosophy.

As a coach I am often called to explore with my clients possible obstacles, obvious or underlying, that block them. What I have found is that what separates those who take action and move forward, from those who don’t, is not necessarily the strategy that they develop to overcome the obstacles. In both cases, some knots are to be solved and others to be cut.

What separates them is their determination and commitment. They know that there is no walled journey and this is not a discouragement.

They believe in the purpose of the end result that they want to create.

They have a positive outlook on life. That doesn’t mean that they are naively optimist, but that they choose to stay strong, believe in the power of their drop and just do it! 

Stop Longing For Love!

A few days after Valentine’s and with the storm of “love” posts and articles spent, I unintentionally heard a friend’s confession over the phone where he was expressing his longing for love.

I felt sad and somehow angry. I felt saddened by the suffering that my friend was experiencing and angry because he was unable to see the love he already had in his life, being a father of two.

We all have love in our lives. Even if we are not in a romantic relationship – and maybe this kind of love is missing for the moment – there is the love of and for our family, the love of and for our friends, the love of and for the people we meet, work with, create connections and interactions. It is the love that we receive and the love that we give. We have above all the love for ourselves.

The moment we are consumed by this longing for love, we have erased all the wonderful love that is already there. For me this is simply disrespectful to that love.

Note to all:

Stop longing for love; you all have love in your lives. Just stop and feel it. Celebrate it in any occasion and feel grateful for it. 

Listen!

The hearing of the spirit is not limited to any one faculty, to the ear, or to the mind. Hence, it demands the emptiness of all the faculties.

And when the faculties are empty, then the whole being listens.

There is then a direct grasp of what is right there before you that can never be heard with the ear or understood with the mind.

                                                                                               Confucius

photo credit: http://www.themarthablog.com/2009/10/my-photos-of-the-early-morning-autumn-fog.html

When life gets you down remember...

Fun fact: Although the song was written by Eric Idle 30 years ago and new data keeps emerging about the universe, it is pretty accurate. 

Fight

Love: the Hidden Value in Business

With Valentine’s day today and all the focus on Love, I think the most appropriate post has to be about Love, with a twist: Love and Business.

The following is an article I wrote December 15, 2011 about this: 

When you listen to Tina Turner’s song What’s love got to do with it I bet that none of you think of business.

Yet, at the first STARTup live Athens last month, my speech to those young aspiring entrepreneurs who were working on their startup’s pitch was to prove that Love has everything to do with it and that Love is the hidden value in business.

My point is simple:

To begin with, you have to start with an idea and you have to love your idea, be passionate about it and believe in it so much that you can hold the vision.

Then, you have to build your team, the people that will progress with you. You need to love your people so that you can work with them well, trust them, listen to them, respect them and progress the idea and business together.

After that, you need to love the process; you have to love being an entrepreneur and everything that comes with it.

You have to love your customers too, so that you care about them, care about their needs, and offer them the right stuff, products or services; and they will love doing business with you.

Ultimately you need self-love. You need to love yourself enough in order to believe in yourself and be confident and keep going when things get tough and when obstacles or your fears get in your way.

There is a quote that I love from Deepak Chopra. It says:

“Love is the beginning of the journey, its end and the Journey itself.”

What is a startup or any other entrepreneurial business if not a Journey?

The idea of Love and Business is not new. Steve Farber, the president of Extreme Leaderhsip, has written about The Love Practicum, Minimoko – a branding company – asks its blog’s readers Are You in Love?, and Umair Haque includes love in The Best Investment You Can Make.

At this point you may be convinced of the idea but now another question may have arose: How do we do it? 

How do we stay in a place of love and not fear, or resentment, or competition, or everything that is not love?

Well, I am going to share with you the biggest secret on how to stay in love:

The biggest secret about love is that it is a simple decision. You either decide to love or you decide not to. You can decide to live with love or you can decide to live with fear. There is no in-between. And if your decision is to live in love and to work from a place of love, then all you have to do is remind yourself that this is your decision, remind yourself every single day.

Let me tell you an old Cherokee tale:

One evening the shaman of the tribe told the young warrior about the battle that was going on inside his head.

He told him: "There is a battle inside my head." 

"Who is fighting?", asked the young warrior.

"Love with Fear", replied the wise old man.

The young warrior thought about it for a minute and then asked: “Who is winning?”

The shaman simply replied “The one I feed”.

Once you make your decision you need to remember which one you chose to feed.

It is always the one we feed that will live inside us and drive all our decisions and actions, which will nourish our thoughts and beliefs and which finally will determine our successes and achievements.

The challenge to keep remembering that is not easy. But what are the options?

And let me tell you this: If love is good business and if every entrepreneur is a leader, if according to Robin Sharma leadership is a way of being - in other words,  the purposeful management of our life and career - then love is not just good business, it’s just the best business we can have.

Privileges of a Catalyst

One of the things that I love as an ICF member and coach is that our vision is about humanity flourishing.

It is this service to humanity that made me so passionate about my job. As coaches we have the unique privilege to witness the transformation; the flourishing; the unfolding of the potential that was all there from the beginning and for which we were just a catalyst.

Today I met with a former client, a very talented young woman. She is expecting her first child, she is in a loving and caring relationship and her business is doing better and better. I was seeing her glow. Our first meeting came to my mind. Seeing her now in her best self, confident and happy, I felt in owe of the greatness of the human spirit and of the wonderful things we are all capable of doing and becoming.

Once again I felt privileged to belong to this profession and humbled by the gifts it can bring. 

Haste Slowly

After attending a six hour workshop today, I went out into the fresh air and decided to walk a little before getting a taxi to my car and returning back to the office.

I walked to Syntagma Square where I read the signs of doctors protesting and past the Parliament just in time to watch the changing of the guard. The weather was perfect so I thought I’d continue walking a little further. I was admiring the buildings I was passing by in Vasilissis Sofias avenue: the Museum of Cycladic Art, the Byzantine Museum, Saroglion Mansion and many more. Then I noticed the beauty of the Ippokrateio Hospital entrance, built in the 1880’s, and green areas of the city that are impossible to notice passing by in a car.

I was smiling enjoying every step of the walk when I made a decision: I was going to walk to the car! The idea was crazy, I had parked 5,5 km away and still had plenty of work unfinished for today. 

I remembered the big lesson I had learned from my niece: eventually I would get to the car; I would get there in the most fun and meaningful way.

So I kept walking with eyes wide open and a big smile on my face.

I passed by little squares with statues, parks and hidden gardens of whose existence I was unaware. I was contemplating the details on some doors, the variations of a skyline occupied by old and new constructions, the people who were passing by: walking, jogging, smoking, carrying kids or puppies. I was hearing Greek and English and Spanish and was feeling comfortable with and curious about the diversity of a city where I could find neo-byzantine churches and Bauhaus embassies next to Pakistani grocery stores, neoclassical buildings and Starbucks.

I saw a well inside the garden of what seemed to be an abandoned house and the rusty sign of the Nursing Home. I saw beauty in every step.

90 minutes later I made it to the car, grateful for my choice of flat heels this morning and realized that today's to-do list had been replaced this afternoon by the important. The urgent didn’t seem so urgent anymore.

Note to self: 
Haste slowly more often. Time will always be enough.

How Much Love Lives In The Space Between You And Me?

If yesterday’s post was about emptying your cup, today's is about filling it: with appreciation, gratitude, trust, LOVE.
Like Merle and Ed.

Between You and Me, from Nic Askew 

Empty Your Cup

A master martial artist asked Bruce Lee to teach him everything Bruce knew about martial arts.

Bruce held up two cups, both filled with liquid. “The first cup”, he said, “represents all of your knowledge about martial arts. The second cup represents all of my knowledge about martial arts. If you want to fill your cup with my knowledge, you must first empty your cup of your knowledge.”

Steve Pavlina uses this story in his blog to tell us that if we want to discover our true purpose in life, we must first empty our mind of all the false purposes we’ve been taught.

I think this story is about everything we decide to do and be: the discovery of a life purpose or any kind of mastery.

If we want to be the leader, boss, partner etc we can be, if we want to create something new, or simply reach the goal that we have set, we must let go of any false beliefs, misconceptions, assumptions, judgments and ideas that are not serving us.

“You can’t reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday’s junk.” (Louise Smith)

Let's go chase some bubbles!

photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/melangeonline/5712849885/in/photostream/