The Truth about Winning (for things that matter)

Only if you fight are you likely to win. 

Are You Part of the Solution or Are You Part of the Problem?

Far too many people do too little or nothing.

I think it is safe to say that the majority of the people choose to stay silent and constantly look to others to speak up and fix issues that they have just as much power on their own to fix.

Can you stay in the middle? For how long and for what?

Can you sit on the sidelines?

Does not helping make you part of the problem?

Any problem, any issue no matter how big or small you consider it to be. For everything forms and shapes our reality and the world around us.

Being a bystander is not an option anymore. It has never been.

“There is no more neutrality in the world. You either have to be part of the solution, or you're going to be part of the problem.” Eldridge Cleaver

People who aren't actively part of the solution are ultimately a part of the problem – any problem – because they have the opportunity to assist or contribute to solving the issue, even by speaking up, and they don’t.

Choose what you are.

Regaining Integrity

“Can you restore your integrity and if yes, how?” was the first question I received after the previous post, followed by the second question “What does integrity mean to you?”

The first answer is easy: Yes.

Of course we can restore integrity, like, I believe, we can restore anything – with more or less effort. The "how" is directly connected with the second question: what is integrity actually?

The dictionary defines Integrity as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. So, if we are honest and we have strong moral principles, we live a life of integrity, right?

Well, actually no. Having strong moral principles is one thing. Following them in all situations is another. Perhaps that is why I like the quotation “Integrity means that you are the same in public as you are in private.” This is the honesty that I appreciate.

Now back to the question of how it can be restored - just by making the decision and the commitment to be honest and to act in all situations according to our values and moral principles.

But that is not the problem. The real problem and challenge is whether we can restore what had been compromised when we lost our integrity: trust. You see, when we gamble with out integrity through the compromises we make which we think that are indispensible, there is an important collateral damage: losing the trust of others. Then, the question becomes if and how we restore trust.

Think personal, but think business too: what does it mean losing the trust of your partner, your friends, your peers, your clients,…

Bottom line is: never gamble with your integrity. The long-term losses are much higher that any temporary gain.

On Integrity

Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you. 
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the trough. Do the right think because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity. 
~ W. Clement Stone

It's not what we eat but what we digest that makes us strong; not what we gain but what we save that makes us rich; not what we read but what we remember that makes us learned; and not what we profess but what we practice that gives us integrity.
~ Francis Bacon

To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity. 
~ Douglas Adams

It is true that integrity alone won't make you a leader, but without integrity you will never be one. 

~ Zig Ziglar

Integrity is choosing your thoughts and actions based on values rather than personal gain. 

~ Unknown 

If everyone were clother with integrity,if every heart were just, frank, kindly, the other virtues would be well-night useless, since their chief purpose is to make us bear with patience the injustice of our fellows.  

~ Jean Baptiste Molière, Le Misanthrope 

Integrity is the essence of everything successful.

~ R. Buckminster Fuller

A "No" That Matters

We are defined by the “noes” we say.

In February, I wrote about the guilt-free “no”, the one that was about self-care and respect.

Here, I write about another kind of “no”, the one that is about our integrity.

We might be very tempted to take this job, or grab that “opportunity” that we think will bring us closer to our goal(s). What happens when this “opportunity” requires actions, partnerships, or anything else that goes against our values? That lowers our standards or goes against what we say we stand for? Shall we practice flexibility? Will we be proud of our success once achieved? Will our image or brand name be affected? Shall we sleep well at night? Even if we silence the voice of conscience and we convince ourselves that our self-respect is not affected, will we still be in harmony with who we know we want to be and what we do?

We are not only judged by the things we do. We are also judged by the things we refuse to do.

Learn your values. And learn to say "no" to everything that goes against them. No opportunity comes from any such compromise. 

On Leadership and Integrity

Be the model of what you are talking about. 

Whose Business Is It Anyway?

“It’s none of our business”, was the reply I heard this afternoon when sharing my concerns about the ethics of a particular business situation.

“It’s none of your business”, I heard a couple of hours later when I voiced my concerns over a situation that was putting a child in danger.

Starting with the second case, it’s not my child; therefore that makes it “none of my business”. This invalid argument would imply that we should all witness parents’ troubling, or even abusive, acts and not react because we are not the parents of those children. How much sense does that make?

In the first case, everything that has to do with my profession is indeed my business. Who do we expect to safeguard the standards of our profession? There is a shared responsibility here and no one can deny that. We join professional bodies, we take oaths, we commit to ethics regulations and we honor all that. It is our business to voice anything unethical that comes to our notice, anything that violates those commitments, anything that harms the reputation of our profession, anything that affects the trust in what we do.

It is our business to watch our politicians, to demand that they perform to the standards for which they have been elected, with accountability, integrity and effectiveness.

It is our business to make sure our children get the education that they deserve.

It is our business to demand that our taxes be spent and invested wisely.

It is our business to protect the environment.

It is our business to expect that our data be protected.

It is our business to tell another customer that he/she is being rude to an employee and vice versa.

I could produce an endless list of the things that are our business, because everything is our business. Things do not just happen. Things are allowed to happen. And while we remain in our “peace bubble” of none-of-my-business, things – bad things – will continue to happen. Unless we speak up.

Speak Up!

Today I had a conversation with a dear colleague about an unpleasant situation. While we were talking she confessed her demotivation due to specific behaviors. She found them very inappropriate, yet stayed like the majority of the people witnessing them, silent. I replied with Edmund Burke’s words: “all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing”.

We were heading towards an outcome that was going to destroy the efforts of years and where the “evil” would triumphed.  Then I confessed my own frustration for the silence of the others, that none stood up for what they (we) considered right.

Most of my life has been defined by Confucius words: "To see and listen to the wicked is already the beginning of wickedness." I have refused to silently listen and see the wicked, which brings me often to trouble. But then, I know I am true to myself and in peace, although many times I have to face undesired conflicts, even bullying, just to shut up.

Nobody likes conflicts. Nobody wants to engage in situations that are not what they were supposed to be, or where it seems pointless to speak up. Yet not being heard is no reason for silence. And if all you need is a little courage in order for you to speak, consider that as a testing point.

“Courage is not simply one the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point” (C.S. Lewis)

Speak up and remember: “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.” (Bishop Desmond Tutu)

I speak up. Sometimes I am heard, sometimes I get into trouble. All of the times I stay true to my commitment to integrity.