On Faith

Having faith

is

the COURAGE

to

take steps forward

even when

you don't know

how

the story is going to end.

Celebrating a life of Failures

"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you do not try" 

                                                                              Beverly Sills

What's the deal with "Sorries"?

Last summer, while having a relaxing drink with a friend, he suddenly said something that hurt me. That particular incident was the last of a series of unfortunate and hurtful comments and behaviors from his side. I responded “you can say I am sorry”.

Why did I need his apology? After all, we were still there drinking alongside. Therefore, in a sense I had already forgiven his previous misbehaviors. In addition, I always hated apologies. We do what we do because we cannot help not doing it, because we feel that way, and because it can simply happen.

I got totally confused. I started wondering about what saying I am sorry is really about.

Over the last years I have learnt to apologize even for situations I had every excuse not to be perfect, not to be flawless and to make the mistake. Or even when situations exceeded my powers and my control. I strongly believe it is important to say: “I feel bad, I take responsibility, I understand I haven’t been right and I want you to know”.

When it comes to others, when someone hurts me, I simply forgive, no sorry required.

But why I needed to hear this time this little phrase?

Ironically, the following days I kept finding in front of me the famous quote from Love Story:

"Love means not ever having to say you're sorry."

I felt guilty for needing that sorry. Was I so insecure? Or – even worse – a hypocrite?

The quote reminded me that true love is unconditional. Love is compassionate and understanding. It reminded me of my aversion to the word and the act of sorry. Yet my need was still there.

Totally puzzled for weeks…

One night I was watching Becker on TV, the cynical misanthropic doctor that is constantly annoyed by anyone and anything. At that episode the insensitive doctor heard his friend Reggie lecturing him about sorry, telling him that saying I am sorry actually means I listen, I care.

That was it? This is why sometimes it is so crucial to hear those simple words? To be reassured that the other cares?

What if it is a little deeper? What if it means I believe you are good enough not to hurt you, not to abuse your tolerance, your understanding, your kindness.

To acknowledge that you are another human being that does not deserve to be hurt, even if it happened without any intention. A guilt-free approach, yet so powerful.  An acknowledgement that you are hurt and I do not wish that for you, reassuring your worth.

So, love doesn’t mean you have to say you are sorry, but love appreciates it when you do.

Three little words, eight characters, that can make a big difference in one’s heart and mind. 

Making a Story Happen

Searching the web for some resources, I stopped at the following: 

“If the point of life is the same as the point of a story, the point of life is character transformation. If I got any comfort as I set out on my first story, it was that in nearly every story, the protagonist is transformed. He's a jerk at the beginning and nice at the end, or a coward at the beginning and brave at the end. If the character doesn't change, the story hasn't happened yet. And if story is derived from real life, if story is just a condensed version of life, then life itself may be designed to change us so that we evolve from one kind of person to another”.

Donald Miller, 

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life

I do not remember anymore what my research was about. What I had just come across was far more important.

It reminded me of my reply every time someone made a remark on my “career change”. “No, I do not change my career path, I evolve it”, was always my reply.

What was more important, it reminded me of the commitment I had taken, when I was 13 years old and deeply inspired by my school teacher, to live a life of constant self-improvement. To become the kindest person I could be. To live a life of bravery; To never surrender to conformity; To re-examine everything I know and I am; To live a life of transformation for the better.

Last weekend, I had the privilege to be part of another transformation. For practically 54 hours young people in Athens engaged themselves at the first STARTup live Athens. They made an admirable breakthrough, overcoming the fear and insecurity under which we live now in Greece, and they stepped outside their comfort zone in order to learn, improve and evolve.

The motivation was their startup idea and project.

The result?

Well, if life is a story that we write, and if the story isn’t created until the transformation has happened, then the result was many beautiful Stories J