It is not the knot

I like talking with people a lot. I like listening to their political opinions, religious views, social concerns, relationships issues and other more personal stuff and problems. In short, about everything. And I like to explore with them different perspectives and possible solutions.

Sadly, most of the times when a good idea or solution is discovered, I hear the phrase: “The circumstances are not favorable”. To add to that “I (or We) have to wait for them to be favorable”.

Most of the times I get somehow irritated by this statement and respond telling or reminding the story of Alexander the Great and the Gordian Knot. In order to solve it, Alexander did not wait for the circumstances to be favorable. He just hacked it apart with his sword.

There are no “favorable” conditions for the solution of a problem. The only favorable condition is the existence of the problem itself.  Whenever there is a problem this is the only condition for a solution.   

So, next time you are faced with a problem, instead of spending time waiting for something that may not even exist, find the brave person determined to cut the knot. Or even better, BE that person!

The Promised Land

          "Promised land is not America,

           Promised land is  not Africa

           Promised land is not Europia

           Promised  land is a  STATE OF MIND"

           Majek Fashek

Put up, or give up!

"You have to put up with the risk of being misunderstood if you are going to try to communicate. You have to put up with people projecting their own ideas, attitudes, misunderstanding you. But it’s worth being a public fool if that’s all you can be in order to communicate yourself."   

Edie Sedgwick

(Yep, I am a fool and I'm loving it!)

Quero Apache Wisdom

Looking behind I am filled with gratitude, 
looking forward I am filled with vision, 
looking upwards I am filled with strength, 
looking within I discover peace.


Quero Apache Prayer

Breaks and Guilt

Last spring I took a break. I took a long break for the whole three months.

I never know when to take a break, usually I collapse before I do that. Maybe because I hate breaks: break ups, break-downs, all kind of breaks.

This time was different: this time the break was exploration and – hopefully – discovery time driven by the determination to find an answer; before even the slightest break-down.

The challenge wasn’t easy: keep the faith to someone no matter what. The actual situation I was in is of no importance here. What is important is the journey that it caused. I started digging, searching and researching. I studied a lot, I listened a lot, I asked every person I trusted could give me the Answer. 

The path led me to Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication. My intuition told me that there lied my answer and I finally asked my friend and colleague Giuseppe. My intuition was – once again – right. The answer was found!

Giuseppe in excitement asked me the “rhetorical” question “Aren’t you happy to discover NVC?” “No”, I said without hesitation. I felt extremely guilty because now I had gained new awareness of more mistakes that I had made. 

The more I know, the worse I feel for all the answers that I ignored at the time. For all the mistakes I made. Dealing with them and the remorse when they only affect ourselves is easy. What happens when they affect others or our relationships with them?

I was with this sweet and bitter sense of my discovery for weeks. One day talking with a friend I confessed the guilt the new knowledge had brought to me. She very calmly said “we are humans, we make mistakes, we grow, we move on. Nothing to feel guilty about”.

The lightbulb in my head switched on! I remembered the message I had recently written to a colleague:

“Oh... so much to learn... And so good to know that time will never be enough: we will never be bored learning J”

We are humans and we are in a constant development. We take actions, we dare to do things and we make mistakes. There will be people that will give us a break and will forgive us and there will be others that will not.

My lessons?

1.     Start loving breaks. They provide a space of growth and occasionally anticipate other breaks.

2.     Relationships with solid foundations or with another brave person rarely break.

3.     Mistakes are human. (Oh, no! I am human…)

Non-Violent Communication, A Language of Life By (author) Marshall B. Rosenberg